Friendships are like llamas.

Hello friends!! Can you believe we’re more than a week into the new year? It’s weird lol

Anyways, I should start by saying this: I’ve been wanting to delve into this topic for a while, and each time I’m about to write, I have a different perspective from which to take it from, but it’s time to write anyways…

The last several months, I have been worrying and worrying over one thing: friendships.

I don’t know why, but the start of senior year came with the realization that after this year, I may not see these people ever again, and to be quite frank, that scares the hell out of me. We’ve spent four years building up friendships, and for what? For all of them to disappear after high school?? Uhhh, no thank you. I mean, yes, not all friendships last, and some will of course, I’m aware of both of those factors, but it still troubles me that I won’t have the relationships that I do anymore come this time next year. To be honest, I think this is all rooted in the fact that when I was in 5th grade, someone told me that the friendships I have in high school, won’t last at all – as in, every one of them will disappear. Back at the time, I didn’t think much of it; I was still pretty young, and had a “we’ll cross that bridge when we get there” mentality. But here I am, crossing that bridge….

Here’s what I’ve learned, especially within the last few months:

– Everybody is different, and every friendship that comes with it is different. They’re like llamas in that way – random. Llamas are the most random animal I can think of, and friendships are just that random. You never know what could happen.

– There are going to be friendships that do not last. It’s inevitable. I know for sure that many of the people I am friends with currently that we will lose touch. And I’ve come to be okay with that. Because:

– There are friendships that will in fact last. Everybody is different. I have a friend that I have not seen or spoken to in a very long while, yet when we do talk, it’s as if she’s never left. She is truly a gem of a friend and I know that no matter where we end up, we’re going to remain friends. I also have a friend where our entire friendship is built on honesty. She’s the first person I turn to, and I can tell her about anything and everything, even if she’s the one bothering me, and I know that she’ll be there to talk me through it. She just gets me, its strange lol but she’s my best friend and that’s a friendship that will last because I’m not so sure what I’d do without her haha.

– Its about the quality not the quantity of the friendships.

SO, if you’re like me, and you worry about everything too, I’m here to share that it’s all going to work out in the end, even if you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel just quite yet. Friendships will last, they’re just going to take a little more effort.

Have a good night everyone!


P.S. Yes this was weird. Yes I’m probably the only person that thinks about these things, but its my blog and I can post whatever I want 🙂


New Year, More Resolutions

It’s still early enough in the year where I can say Happy New Year again!

Naturally, I wanted to come with some resolutions/goals for the new year, but I decided against it. Why? Because every year, I make this huge list of things I want to work on that basically becomes a list of all the things I dislike about myself and then I never end up accomplishing any of it. If that’s the case, whats the point of even making resolutions?

So this is what I’m going to do instead: I’m going to make a list of a few, short-term, immediate goals that are realistic enough for me to do every day. At the same time, I’m going to make a list of general things that I want to work on. And of course, I’m making this public so that I can somehow keep myself accountable lol Here it goes….

Short term goals:

  1. Dedicate time to my online classes – they need to be equated to any class on campus.
  2. Wear my rubber bands!!!! – I know, this is a silly one to put down, but I need to get this damn metal off my teeth lol it’s been wayyyyyy too long
  3. Read the Bible every day – I used to be really good at doing this, but I fell out of this habit and want to get back into it.

This isn’t really a goal, but I also want to get into the habit of writing down my blog ideas. I come with so many and by the time I have my computer in front of my I forget them

Long term resolutions:

  1. Be all around more positive, and look to the bright side of things! – I have a really bad habit of getting irritated/annoyed easily by anything, and it’s a trait about myself that I’m not a fan of, so I need to work on it
  2. Dedicate some time every day for God – I know myself, I say now that I’m going to try to read my Bible everyday, but come March, I probably will have not picked up my Bible in more than a month. SO, I want to dedicate time to God. I have a lot of down time while I’m driving so maybe then? I just need to get back on my spiritual life.
  3. Get healthy! – this is a no brainer, but still, I want to work on it.
  4. Blog! Write! Journal! more often
  5. Go on an adventure! – this could mean anything from having a picnic with friends to going on a hike to traveling back to China, but this is going to be a big year, and I want to make the most of it!

So there’s that! Let’s hope I can accomplish some of these this year.

Till the next post!


Happy New Year!

Well, it’s 2015! Real question though: where the heck did 2014 go???? *Brace yourselves for a long post*

New Years for me always mean reflecting on the good and bad of the past year. So I made a list  – My top 10 moments of 2014:

  1. CHINA – hands down the best thing thats happened to me not only in 2014 but basically my entire life and i miss it so so much
  2.  Israel – being able to make the Bible a tangible experience is something I will never forget
  3.  Starting senior year – I’m hesitant to put this one at number 3 because knowing that I graduate soon is so bittersweet for me, but I mean, its senior year so why not
  4.  My internship at UCI – this made me realize that I actually want and can pursue medicine so it’s a pretty important moment lol okay now the following are just in a random order. no rhyme or reason to where they’re at lol
  5.  my 17th birthday dinner surround by the friends I love oh so dearly
  6.  the AP Bio Florida trip and the week that followed at my aunt’s house
  7.  Performing a solo at the band instrumental concert (definitely the scariest thing i’ve had to do this year lol)
  8.  Honestly, China deserves to be on here more than once lol
  9.  any time spent with my friends is a noteworthy moment!

It was really hard to try to come up with even 10 moments because so may good things happened in 2014. Granted, there was a lot of bad too, and this year wasn’t necessarily the best of years, but every moment is worthwhile.

I don’t know what this year holds for because a lot of big things are going to happen (graduation, college, 18th birthday), but I do know that whatever comes my way, I am going to try to make the best of it! I encourage you all to keep a jar or something in your room or wherever you want and write down all the good things that happen this year. I know I’m going to because I need a way to keep things in perspective when times get tough this year. I’ve purposely left out my new year’s resolution and goals because I don’t want to drag out this post, but HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL (even if I’m a day late)!! Hope this year’s a good one!!

~ Yostina

Here’s a picture of my little memory jar area:


On Expectations.

The Pretend Extrovert

I’m a senior in high school, which means that I’ve spent the last few months of my life juggling schoolwork and college applications. The hardest part of the college application process for me has been having to write about myself. Colleges ask questions like “What is one event in your life that has helped you grow” and “What is one thing you have accomplished that you are proud of,” and even something as simple as “What are three words you would use to describe yourself?” These questions ask me to evaluate my life and unearth something about myself that I feel has helped me become the person I am; or do they?

After writing far too many essays about myself (most of which being reworded versions of each other), I came to the realization that I was tailoring my answers to align with what I assumed would be the expectation of the admissions counselors reading…

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‘Tis the season to get married!

Hello there! Sooo….

As I was sitting in church the other day, I realized that lately the biggest topic of discussion has been people getting married, engaged, or the number of weddings being attended. Heck, I had a wedding to go to on Sunday too!

Which reminded me of the fact that we are all  UNFAITHFUL WHORES!

Now, before you get all up in my face about why I have the audacity to call us out as whores, let me explain:

You are a whore. You’re an unfaithful whore, a rebellious enemy, an orphan, in debt, unsaved, you have no inheritance — you are a sinner.

This is just the plain truth about who we are. Without Christ, our sinful nature takes over and we’re about as good as the dirt of the earth. We have nothing to hope for, no one to look to – under this nature we are dead. As a result, there is absolutely no way – it’s literally impossible – for us to try to meet the standard God has set for us by the law: perfection. More than that, we deserve the full wrath of God that comes with our failure to meet his standards, which if you ask me is absolutely and completely terrifying/mortifying/any other strong adjective along the same lines.

BUT (and it’s a big but too 😏), we have Jesus Christ. It is because and through him that when we stand before Yahweh the judge he says to us, “you are innocent”. We’ve been charged with the righteousness of Christ instead of our own sinful merit. He does the rescuing and the reconciling and the marrying. We’re no longer unfaithful whores but brides to Christ. The saving is not a result of your own works, and thank God for that too, but as a result of what Christ did on the cross. I am made alive because of him not because of anything I tried to do. We’re in this unending, unconditional, faithful covenant with him where we literally have to do nothing for it. We have nothing to offer us, but he has everything to give. If you think about it, it’s unfathomable how this omnipotent God can love such sinners as us and can claim us as his children. This God that spoke the world into motion, speaks me to be innocent, something that I cannot comprehend it but I am eternally grateful for it.

Just a thought!

Who am I?

Hey there – it’s time for a new blog post! How exciting!

So I’ve been thinking, as indicated by the fact that I’m now posting something lol…. It seems that the biggest things in my life right now are school and college apps, which understandably those should be the biggest things. Anyways, if I had to sum up these last few months in one statement, it would be “please describe to us in some number of words who you are.”

Let me just start and say, I hate answering this question😐 with a passion. How the actual heck am I supposed to relate to someone who i am? “I like food and Netflix. Please accept me” — that doesn’t adequately explain me lol

The thing is, on my own, I cannot describe myself because describing who I am means describing all of the events that have happened in my life, all of the people who have helped shape who I am.

I could take this in a theological perspective, but I’ll save that for later. The bottom line is this: who I am is not a result of only the qualities I posses, but rather I possess those qualities and character traits because of the people who have impacted me and the events that have molded me into the person that I am.

Alright, that’s all for now.
– toast 🙂

Renewing my Blog

Well, it has been quite some time since I last posted something, and my oh my, how I’ve missed it. I’ve been actually wanting to keep going with my blog since my China trip to blog as I travel (more to come on China and Israel later), but clearly that never happened lol. Anyways, as the title says, I’m renewing my vows…errrr blog (lol sorry I had to ;)). I am going to start blogging more often and I’m taking my blog in a new direction as evident by the new theme I picked haha. Basically, I’m going to keep blogging about my random thoughts and personal stuff that will hopefully not be depressing lol (all of this can be found under the so conveniently labeled “thoughts” tab) BUT I am also going to post my theology rants/thoughts or whatever you want to call it. I have been told many times that I should blog about the things I have to say about the Bible and turn my exegetical paper into a blog, so I figure, why not? Really it’s going to just end up being me finding something interesting in class and postig it here. Disclaimer: this is not going to become a religious blogsite LOL but rather a place to share what the Gospel has to offer us – all of which can be found under the “theology” tab. So creative, right?

ANYWAYS, that’s all I have to share for now. I hope y’all enjoy your insight into my mind, which is completely blind to everything around me lol

~ Toast

^^ I think I am going to start signing my blog posts haha

Hmm. I should add a travel section to my blog. This may happen. Alright now I am actually done.